Things That Suck and Things That Will Suck... Blog

Posted By Phoenix on Apr 6, 2011 | 2 comments

I’m pretty hesitant to watch live-action movies of cartoons because I hate to be disappointed. I don’t want my childhood favorites turned against me. Perhaps it is because I’ve watched Marvel and DC characters get bludgeoned over and over again. There are a few good ones like “Superman Returns” or “Iron Man,” but most of them end up like “Fantastic Four” and “Hulk”.

Case in point…

This Movie Was A GIANT Piece Of Shit

I had promised a full review for Avatar: The Last Airbender movie months ago, but I’m just going to give you the facts.

Facts

Made $320 Million – WTF. Who kept telling their friends to watch it? Or was it like the “Friday” video, where people went to see just how stupid it was?

Is going to be a trilogy… (M. Night Shyamalan’s “fuck you” to the world.)

Why The Movie Sucked

Aang is supposed to be a playful young soul, but acted as old as his body really is. The actor said his lines in a really bland way and couldn’t act if his life depended on it.

M. Night Shyamalan tried to justify the casting of Caucasians for all the lead roles by casting Asian supporting actors – Most of them being Indian. (Er… I wonder why..?) I don’t have a problem with the cast being white since it sells, but why is the entire Fire Nation Indian? (Another M. Night Shyamalan’s “fuck you” to the world.) He even appeared in the movie as a guard. He really likes to act in his own movies…

M. Night Says Fuck You. P.S. I love Indian people. Even they are shaking their heads. Or didn't watch the movie.

Almost all of the “martial arts” in the movie looked like people dancing. It was really bad. If you’re a martial artist, you know forms are more than just end poses. You need power behind those punches.

I know the movie had a lot to cover but the pacing was bad. Really bad.

Fuck you M. Night for ruining one of the only decent American Cartoons they have to offer this generation.

I hate you so much...

More Suckage

Suckers for Watching.

“…….”

I’m sorry, did any of the boys find this to be a wet dream material? Just as they’re about to show dirty dancing, you go into dull slow-motion battles with characters you really don’t care for.

The movie posters were the only enticing thing. Because as soon as you saw the trailers and realized this was only happening in the mind, you know you’re going to have a chance of getting a bad paced story.

This movie was not empowering to females in any way because it shows you can only dream of being free, but have to suck it up in reality. At the end with the bus driver saving the day, proved it.

Things That Will Suck

Surprisingly, the animation and potential storyline is something I would have watched as a 9 year old kid, along with “Extreme Ghost Busters,” “Mummies Alive,” “Swat Cats…” (Remember those?)

What is facepalm worthy however, is the fact that we know who the Governator is… What he did… All his quotes… Oh ignorance is bliss… This show looks so bad, it’s good. I may watch it just for shits and giggles, if I catch it. It’s going to be FANTASTIC…